My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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