I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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