got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
