So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
