so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
