I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize