Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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