dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
