New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
