Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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