I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
