Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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