Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
