And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
And then he peed in my hair
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