Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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