My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
