She said her name was "party"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
