GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize