'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
