I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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