dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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