hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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