i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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