Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
