4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
