He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
