i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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