y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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