I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
