Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
