i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
