no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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