wrigley field is MILF paradise
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
