I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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