there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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