can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
