SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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