...so i touched it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
