how can u be prego again
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
