I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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