Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
