I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
