Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
