Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
