He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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