i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
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I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
