also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
