i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
