Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so that wasnt chicken after all
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
