We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
