Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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