My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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