Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
