So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
