"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
