how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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