K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
