I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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