I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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