I cockslap morals
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
