Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
