No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize